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Whether they’re merely curious, or don’t care who they’re getting off with as long as they’re getting off, or simply eschew the traditional definitions of what makes you gay or bi, our increased tolerance allows this in theory, although what your mates down the pub would make of it is another matter. Can he be committed to a relationship if he’s not on the same page?
But for the guys who do the coming out, who decide that having sex with men does mean they are gay or bi, how does it feel when the guy they’re sleeping with – in some cases, are in love with – either cannot, or will not, make that step himself? The main obstacle is straight men who have sex with men are not usually open about this.
And even these were very much about straight people play-acting than any serious comment on evolving sexuality.
Everybody else had to stay in lane, their labels hanging over them.
“The whole time, though, he wasn’t comfortable holding hands or kissing outside.” Even though PDAs were kept to a minimum, it didn’t take long for word to get out.
“Friends said they saw it in his eyes, the way he was with me, and they just started assuming he was gay so adjusted their behaviour accordingly.” When Dom found out, things regressed further.
James continues, ”When we spent time together, generally indoors, everything was happy.