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This raises another interesting question &mdash what are we trying to do when we Skype? It’s just that I find it difficult to re-enter the ordinary boredom of my real life. But in learning to be a better Skype lover, perhaps it is best to heed Donne’s advice: it’s healthy to allow enough room for a certain amount of longing.

In a Skypeless world, we might have been less inclined to hang in there, but now separation is less challenging. With couples who have just met, there is an undercurrent of lost courting rituals: people are forced to talk and get to know each other without immediately jumping in the sack.

To be able to see her, and for her to see me, is more satisfying than a telephone call, email, instant message, or letter; the silences are more comfortable, the flow of conversation more natural. A really long pause &mdash not awkward, just adjusting to Skype Reality: volume, screen angle, the pleasure of seeing. Skype also creates an intimacy of focus that’s missing in a café or bar.

Skype was created in 2003 by the same Danish and Swedish entrepreneurs and Estonian software developers who created Kazaa (a file-sharing program similar to Napster). I found it difficult to return to the tedious and unnerving everyday. The emotional muck of “relationship” conversations could be avoided, and the tedium of “How was your day, sweetie?

Since then, Skype has taken the communications world by storm: as of April 2008, it had more than 309 million registered accounts. I was neither alone, with the compensations of perfect solitude, nor with my warm-blooded partner. ” could be replaced by an X here, an O there, and some good, healthy competition. In one You Tube interview, a couple talks about how they sleep with their laptops in bed, each under the gaze of their respective cameras.

It was then brought into wider use but still required a special app.

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